Light-hearted Stuff
You thought your Christmas was fucked up?
So I got caught checking out a woman’s ass by her husband at church. I also have a crush on a gay guy. And some other stuff. […]
Bollocks
Helicopter Parenting Gone Wrong
Top story of the morning! Despite Michelle’s attempts at helicopter parenting, Annabelle has officially learned how to tie her shoes. The laziness that free range parenting offers is not only an enticing temptation to an […]
Codeine Infused Migraine Moment
Today is July 4th. My migraine, well she’s a bitch, and my kids, well they got hungry for some strange reason around dinner time. So I did what any mother of 3 with a migraine […]
Horror. Terror. Booze. You’re In.
One of my biggest fears I ever had to face is a weird one that you probably have faced too. I have faced losing my father to cancer, the military, demons and ghosts, insanity, praise […]
If I could go back in time, I’d do it all over again. Literally.
Marty McFly and Doc Brown’s DeLorean are giving me a ride, and we’re traveling to the date of December 15, 2007. They are dropping me off on their way to see Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony’s first […]
How to Be Beautiful: A Reflection of Beauty
OMG, when I look in the mirror, I’m a fat cow! Ask anyone in high school, I was a, “fat cow.” The whispers of the insecure dressed in holier-than-thou costumes echoed through the hallways of pencils and ammonia, […]
I learned…
In 2015, I learned… I learned I am getting better. During the Mayan Apocalypse (if you remember that), I hit a new level of crazy between motherhood and sleep deprivation, and a lot of crazy […]
Shit Straightening Togetherness
My 2016 Word of the Year is, “Get-my-shit-together.” Ok. That’s like 4 words but if you put the dashes in between them, it makes it a “compound” word. Now that I think about it, does […]
I Just Realized I’m White! By a Former Culture Vulture
“I can’t believe it took me so long to realize that…” I can’t believe it took me so long to realize that I’m white. For years, I’d tell men, I’m all chocolate baby. This white […]
The Day I was a Stripper: modern fairy tales story
Once upon a time, there was a princess a snarky, ball-busting bitch named Michelle (that would be me, this is an autobiographical account that can be considered one of the many modern fairy tales). The Executive […]