My 2016 Word of the Year is, “Get-my-shit-together.” Ok. That’s like 4 words but if you put the dashes in between them, it makes it a “compound” word.

Now that I think about it, does anyone literally get their shit together? Like where did that phrase come from? “Hey, I see our lives are catastrophes, I know, let’s get constipated!” I suppose it came from taking all the turds and putting them into one spot instead of shitting everywhere because someone had a problem… whoever came up with that phrase must of had a dog or a really bad drinking problem if their literal shit was spewed out all over the place.

Anyway, this is where I’m at this year. It must be a sign of mental health improvement because I WANT to get my shit together. Last year, I was fine with my shit all over the place. Sometimes we let the spilled milk sit until we feel like cleaning it up.

Now getting your shit together is a slow moving, probably painful, process. At times, I’m probably going to get dirty, and at times, I might say fuck it and let the shit stew for a while. What’s worse is I’m not really an organized person, so sometimes I am not sure what even constitutes as shit (metaphorically, though the kids can leave behind things that really make you question it’s shitness).

If you have been following me at all, you know my life has been shitastrophic. We are talking a shitaclysm of what the fuck is wrong with me’s. I’m not even sure I can list them off the top of my head. But in the last 6 months, I feel like I’ve been moving forward, slowly, and I want to keep going that direction.

Since this is more of a goals’ post, I suppose I should clarify what I mean because I think this is a vague goal that most people seem to have. It’s kind of basic bitch stuff going on here, but maybe it’s time I be more basic bitchy. I already have a nice collection of wax warmers, kind of like a Basic Bitch Starter Kit. Plus it covers up the smell of all the shit…

Yes I need to lose weight.

My tits weigh more than a newborn and it’s hurting my back, probably contributing to migraines. I gained 20 pounds in the last monthish, and I swear all of it went to my tits. If I try to hold them up with my hands, my arms get tired in less than 60 seconds. I’m not bragging. This really sucks. I mean, unlike bra padding, you can’t take it off.

Plus the lithium month I had a few years back added on the pounds, and I look pregnant. People ask me when I’m due, and instead of doing the whole awkward, “Oh I’m not actually pregnant, put your foot in your mouth and walk the rest of the night in shame,” thing, I just say, “October.” Nobody really pays attention to how many kids you have anyway let alone keeps count.

Have a cleanish house.

I’m kind of a hoarder, and we probably qualify to be on that show with a need for a fierce intervention. The only person who really cleans is me, and I hate that. My kids and husband throw shit anywhere they stand. Dirty clothes end up on the floor in 6 different rooms. Cups and dishes in 2 rooms more so than the kitchen. We are getting to the age with the kids where they can be cleaner people. I do make them clean, before you start “oh your kids can do chores!” Yes they do chores. But it’s not that I want. I want a cleaner lifestyle where instead of putting the dirty dishes in the sink twice a week, we do it when we are done with the dish.  You know, like normal human beings.

My blogging shit.

I do this blog for shits and giggles. It’s all about me. I’m my niche. My brain is everywhere, so that’s not really a niche, and you have to have a niche in blogging. I don’t want to change this blog because it’s been therapeutic, though lately, more of a chore, but I want to spend more time and effort on other things.

TheWriteMoms is going to be my blogging on blogging project. Women of Ill Repute will be positive sexuality for those who identify with the female gender. I’m thinking of killing my stupid Blog Bomb Awards and doing a DIY and Recipe blog where I can post regularly, and pull the best from that and tweak for my next Underachiever’s Book. I also have other book ideas that will get published whenever. BUT also, I want to do more photography. That’s been my new therapy, and now that I got myself a good camera, I’ll probably be putting good photos on a paid stock photography site; however, all my subscribers will have access to those pics for free.

Partial Omnipresence.

I don’t think I’m capable of being “focused,” on one thing. I seem to bite off more than I can chew, and all the ideas I have for this year are definitely there with more than I can chew. So I guess I’ll be working on my omnipresence skills, which should come in handy after I die.

I hate to say this, but I need to be on a schedulish.

I can’t do schedules too well. I hate it. I feel caged. I like to do things when I feel like doing them because that’s when I do my best work. I’m just an artist at heart, but that doesn’t mean I have to totally avoid schedules. I can schedule things down to an ISH level. I think I’m going to have to because I have too much going at once, but that’s the type of environment I always thrived in.

So basically, I’m trying to get my shit together in a get your shit straight sort of way. I’m hoping this will bring more family togetherness in the end.

This was part of Finish the Sentence Friday

For most posts on the word of the year, check out Mardra Sikora