Welcome to Finish the Sentence Friday. I’m hosting this week, so read my bloggity doo on why you should vote for me for President, and then read the others at the bottom of the blog. If you find someone you’d actually vote for President, go Nominate them for the The Diabolical Mastermind Award at Blog Bomb Awards. BTW, none of us are actually running for President.
You should vote for me for President because I’d probably be assassinated within 2 years of office, and I might trigger the apocalypse (hey, don’t act like you don’t have a hit list you are waiting for an apocalypse to free you to kill).
Reregulation of corporations
At first corporations wouldn’t like this, but if we killed their ability to donate to candidates and their causes, they’d save a lot of money. Then I’d control their activity the way our country has for most of its existence, via taxes.
Tax Deductions would Include
- Using clean energy
- Proportion of wages (in other words, if the highest salaried people make too much more than the lower salaried people, the corporation is taxed higher than if that proportion is lower).
- Buying Made In America items
- Working with unions
- Offering benefits (to include health insurance AND child care expense coverage)’
You didn’t miss my newbie benefit in the bullets did you? Wouldn’t it be cool if your job offered child care expense coverage?
Then there would be tax penalties for things like
- having an employee who qualifies for food stamps
- raising prices higher than 1% annually
- import taxes when there isn’t enough Americans employed by a company
Plus there’d be new things like
- a
maximum wage - closing loopholes and raising taxes (why should we have to choose when both sounds fun?)
- changing the way businesses are defined making corporate board of directors personally responsible for incidentals, i.e. criminal charges for poisoning the water supply and stealing from people’s pensions
- making certain laws like those the EEOC govern a criminal act to break (not only can you be sued for firing a person for being black, but you could also pay high fines to my government and serve some jail time… those fines would most likely cover our military)
- Revamping Employment laws removing the need for unions. We’d provide more required sick days (no more will your server have to sneeze in your food to keep her job), redefine overtime, require holiday pay for people who must work holidays to be equal to overtime pay, have a basic requirement for health insurance offered, and certain institutions be required to have the man labor to SAFELY employ the job (i.e. nurses, production workers at a huge plant…). Abusers of the system would be fined heavily.
Program Face-Lift
I’ve noticed a lot of government agencies simply do not function. Washington spends a considerable amount of time and effort determining how much money they will receive and what programs are offered every year, but then when you get into the details of each program, money is often wasted (as well as time) in poor management.
First I’d start with a Management Audit (especially hitting Veteran Affairs). Employees and people who receive program services would be surveyed. We would be looking at answering questions such as
- How long did you have to receive program benefits? Do you think that was considered timely?
- What steps would you take to expedite the program?
- How well trained were the employees you dealt with? Did they ever give false information about the program?
- When you call the office, do you get a human within 5 minutes?
- Can you find the answer to your question on the website?
We would also look for things such as salary expense in comparison to labor output. Expenses that are unnecessary.
Then we’d take steps such as reducing the amount of paperwork, removing some micromanagement properties of the system, utilizing the internet, re-training employees in the program and job duties as well as customer service (wouldn’t that be nice?) and productivity. Basically, we’d set up the government programs to operate more like a business with pretty, user-friendly websites and an objective of actually servicing the community. No more will recipients be treated like burdens to society who should just be happy they qualify for services regardless of all the hoops we make them go through to obtain them.
We’d also remove the “use or lose” function of government grants. I think we would find that it cost considerably less to operate a lot of the programs we currently offer freeing up money to be used elsewhere in a budget.
Military
My ideas so far are pretty practical, but this one sounds crazier than what it is… I was in the military. I know what good we do for this world. We are so much more than war. We develop most of the technology civilians use. We also build hospitals and schools in underdeveloped countries. People always want to reduce the military, but I’d build it bigger and stronger, but with more peace-time, positive missions. Why? Because out of all the programs in our government, the military gets shit done. It’s set up in a way that inspires one to do his/her job 100%, with pride. The work ethic, the morale, the teamwork, the honor, the core values… it’s what this country needs.
I would create a Federal National Guard with branches militarizing choice civilian government jobs… All those branches would have different training and requirements. Not everyone would undergo Basic Military Training as the military knows it, or be required to pass a PT test. It would depend on the “Branch.” All would also be utilized in war if necessary (and trained annually for their job in war time), but by their strengths of a life-long study as opposed to the current system sticking anyone anywhere needed, and they wouldn’t deploy for the most part. They would be designed to handle the home front.
For example, your regular cops would have to enlist and actually be trained on the weapons they use, and with the art of minimal force being drilled into their heads, and under the laws governed by the UCMJ. They would also deploy in a time of war when the President employs a draft; however, they’d be trained annually in war-time exercises but their primary mission wouldn’t change much from what they already do now. They would not wear BDU’s. Their current uniform would suffice.
Another example, teachers. The reason a military branch? So they can use military bases for training, and military travel. Plus, we’d improve their pay. Not only do they get base salaries based on a pay grade just like the military (starting at a higher rank than E1), and better health insurance, but they also get perks. Free attorney. Free gym membership on bases. Access to commissaries and AAFES. BAS. BAH. This way we can also standardize the type of teachers we accept so that one state isn’t getting more qualified teachers than another state. Continuing training would be cheaper to do with base access. We can also station them where we need them (providing an option of waivers for certain things). When we are short on teachers, we can pull from the military to cover the loss. Plus, we get rid of tenure, still provide job security, and they’d have to follow the UCMJ making it easier to weed out bad eggs. The military also offers the finest technology the world has to offer, and teachers would then have access to that. Plus, everyone is concerned about school shooters… Well every teacher would be trained in weaponry and some Marine Corps Martial Arts, with a focus on securing a building. The biggest reason why I’d do this? Because everyone loves funding the military. Nobody likes funding education.
How could I use teachers in a time of war? Science and math teachers might deploy within our own country temporarily to help develop weapons. English teachers might be asked to write a press release. But the main thing is, their annual war training would involve securing a building of students and other civilians, and keeping them safe from the enemy if ever attacked. If war came to our nation as opposed to staying overseas like it has, we have no protocol for the safety of people outside of CDC’s Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit. We can also train them to set up FEMA stations for times of disaster, and because they would already be federal employees, we wouldn’t have to wait on the states to do something. I mean think about every national disaster in America for the last 20 years. Every time, victims were waiting on their stupid governor to declare stuff, request stuff, and be proactive, and every time, the governor took his good ole time when the President was on air declaring the situation a disaster for them. Who would you entrust most in your community to give you emergency shelter and water? Outside of Church, your teachers. Plus it would be nice when in an emergency shelter if the people operating the shelter knew how to handle kids.
Education
So many people would hate this, but I’d federalize SOME of the public education. If you move from state to state, your kid’s education is going to be less than awesome because of the gap between curriculum between states. Something as important as education should be in the hands of the politicians people actually researched who they were voting. Of course, I’d still give the states some freedom to do their own thing, but the important things would be federalized…
1. Federal curriculum. Not micromanaged like current state curriculum. Just a basic outline of objectives. A teacher is free to use the best teaching method for the students in each individual situation… In other words, common core would be OPTIONAL. In addition, this would make it easier for parents to home-school or supplement education. As of now, most would rather read the IRS Pub 17 while licking someone’s ass than read through curriculum.
2. Federal standardized test, one every other year, and nothing more is allowed to be offered to waste every one’s time and change teaching standards. SAT 9 will probably be the choice for it. Test results can then be actually compared between states since they are all using the same test, and we’d have a better idea where we stand nationally because everyone is using the same test. We do this every other year because what happens is teachers spend more time preparing kids for test questions than actually teaching if we offer it any more frequent than every other year.
3. Federal computer labs. I’m so sick of seeing the schools in the ghettos with less equipment than the schools in suburbia. No more will education cater to the white people. Under federal jurisdiction, there will be equal opportunity.
4. I’d offer college credits for every high school class, and options of taking college classes toward a specific degree paid for by grants. The idea would be to try to make a BASIC education free again. Today, a Bachelor’s degree is considered basic education for many entry level jobs, and it’s no longer free, and most of it repeats what was already taught in high school.
5. Remove education neglect. No more will parents face jail time for absences. Instead, if the schools were federalized, a federal government team could provide all the learning material on the internet for free, making it easier for students to miss school. While studies show a good attendance usually correlates with later life success, the issue is we send kids to school sick and contagious infecting the entire community with an epidemic in the name of attendance, and that’s just stupid and anti-productive (it increases absences). Yes there are parents out there who actually refuse to take their kids to school, and that would be treated as a case-by-case basis under normal guidelines for childhood neglect in general, and schools would not be the judge and jury on such a case. Instead, CPS and courts would handle it.
Healthcare
For some strange reason, we can drive to Canada and get our doctor visits and prescriptions for almost half the cost. The number one reason employers hate providing healthcare benefits is the rising cost of healthcare. It is the reason most companies stopped offering 100% insurance coverage and is adopting an 80/20 deal at best. Obamacare is forcing people into overpaying for insurance, something they couldn’t afford to begin with, and still sticking them with half the bill (in insurance, 80% coverage plus loopholes like deductions and what they are willing to pay for services ends up being more like 50% coverage).
In addition, people are less apt to seek medical counsel during well visits and most sick visits just to save money, or simply they can’t afford to get the medical attention they need, and this reduces the country’s overall health. This increases the amount of people who go to work with contagious, untreated infections. It reduces the amount of cancer screenings and other steps people can take for a healthier life making healthcare costs cheaper for all those on their insurance coverage.
The only solution it seems is to reduce health care costs, and to do it without killing medical progress (such as doctors are less willing to have state of the art equipment if they aren’t making enough to cover the expense).
We would start with Medicaid and Medicare. Most doctors charge based on what that insurance will pay. That insurance would just have to start paying less. Tax benefits would be offered for doctors who charge within the cost of living. Grants would be offered to doctors who wish to upgrade their equipment to more medically advanced equipment, but with a cap on what they charge for services to qualify for it. Medicare would also lighten up their qualification requirements so that people making less than $75,000 a year can qualify for some level of it to back up whatever insurance they have with something that actually pays for the healthcare. For instance, Tricare doesn’t cover ultra sounds, so under this program, most lower ranking military personnel would be able to receive ultra sounds. But also, if someone finds out they have cancer, this program would offer more options in treatment without the bill.
Music
I would also change Hail to the Chief to The Imperial March.
But you won’t vote for me for President because:
1. I won’t sign up with a party platform. I’m nobody’s bitch, and they treat their politicians like they are their bitch. Of course, most of you don’t realize that, and we the sheeple are obsessed with feeding the power, and then bitching about it.
2. I won’t lie. Instead of telling you what you want to hear to improve my ranking and all that jive, I’d just tell you how it is. That will piss off everyone.
3. I think for myself. My ideas are based off my own observations and thoughts, and not of someone who told me what to do. In fact, I really hate being told what to do and generally do the opposite of what people tell me to do as a result.
4. I’m a woman. The men will be concerned that my period might spark WWIII, and nobody would take me seriously in my own country due to my vaginal disadvantage, but also, think of how the Muslims would react?
5. The same reasons most of the world do not read my blog. I have no idea what those reasons are, but I have a feeling they would still be relevant for this endeavor.
6. I have no funding. I won’t be a corporate bitch, so my entire campaign will be on a shoe-string. You might not take me seriously enough if my method of travel is not by flight, and I don’t have free Vote For Me paraphernalia to bribe you with.
7. I have a bad history my opposing candidate would use against me. I smoked, but I swear I never inhaled. No I wasn’t frolicking with an intern… that really is a mustard stain on my crotch.
Shit I did recently:
I created The Write Moms for a platform for mom bloggers. Join our Facebook Group!
I created the following YouTube Play List: Stuff My Friends and I Screamed Out the Window of My Car!
I designed this for my store
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