Homework doesn’t work. According to Science.
Listen to this while you read for the full effect.
I want to start with the school because they are the most diabolically fucked-up establishment our American government has to offer. They are more fucked up than Veteran Affairs (that’s pretty bad). They are more fucked up than our Congress (getting worse). They are more fucked up than a Fox News broadcast (that’s pretty much as bad as it can get).
Outside of the ridiculous nature of “education neglect” forcing us parents to send our kids to school sick, against doctor orders, and contagious (the gift that just keeps on giving), and outside of the fact that common core makes about as much sense as gluing a dog’s ass shut, and outside of the fact that our special education is just a place to herd targets for bullies from both adults and children, need I really continue? I really could go on and on… But outside of all that, homework is the herpes of the school system. Once they give it to your kids, your kids come home and infect their parents. It’s almost like a reverse hereditary disease. And it’s painful. Blistery bursts of puss painful. Fuck you homework.
As a parent, you are butt-raped, courtesy of the US Government who couldn’t afford any lube. At night time, after school, when you should be making dinner, cleaning up after dinner, giving the kids baths, and trying to relax at some point… Because of the gnarly case of the HOMEWORK, you have two options. 1. Stop everything you are doing and help your kid for a couple hours with his homework. 2. Stop everything you are doing and yell at your kid for a couple hours to do his homework without your help. Those are your options. Again, fuck you homework.
And we do it because we love our children. We want them to learn. Except…
Scholarly studies are supposed to be “educational.” Empirical evidence is supposed to be considered scientific evidence. They use math so complicated that despite the fact that I love math and often fantasize what pi would look like in a different base system (not the ratio, that’s the same, BUT the number, which is 10 in base pi, and 100 in base square root of pi), but anyway, as much as I love math, I’d rather masturbate to the IRS’s Pub 17 than figure correlational statistics. So when I say these studies are the closest thing to PROOF we have about anything, I really mean it.
The schools might slap-happily cling onto the study that showed a correlation between attendance and graduation rates (now you know why education neglect exists) like it’s manifest destiny, yet the school’s dumbfuckery ignores all the studies that DO NOT SHOW how homework improves grades or test scores like it’s the Black Death of studies.
Bet you didn’t know that. Unholy horse shit of fucks. Homework doesn’t work.
We know this. We know this in the most scientific, educational way we can know something, and the douche canoes in charge of schools STILL drill homework down a kid’s throat like a Jehovah Witness 15 people shy of a missionary trip.
And I’m not taking it. I’m printing up these two articles and handing them to my kids’ teachers, the principal, the assistant principal and then I’m emailing it with a link to this post to the county’s board of education, and quite possibly the state’s board of education.
Proof Homework doesn’t work!
The Homework Myth by Psychology Today (much more credible than your grandma)
and
I’m going to summarize some key points in these studies in a language I speak fluently: secular tongue.
If you are too busy or too tired to read those links, read this…
1. Homework doesn’t help elementary students at all. No research shows any benefit to assigning homework, of any kind or any amount, to elementary school students.
2. For high school students, research shows a VERY WEAK correlation between homework and test scores. The correlation doesn’t mean much because it’s so weak, and even if it did, correlation does not prove causation. Probably what is happening is that kids who are learning are more apt to do their homework. Think about it. When you don’t know what you are doing, it makes you not want to do that thing. It’s highly doubtful that the homework improves test scores at all.
3. When the homework is correlated to test scores, the subject of homework that shows the lowest test scores in relation is math. The subject common knowledge thinks homework benefits the most is proven to be the least benefited. In other words, of all the subjects, math homework helps learning the least.
4. While some studies show a WEAK relationship between homework and test scores on standardized tests, what they don’t show is any relationship between homework and grades. You would think with the same teacher who assigns the homework being the same teacher giving out grades, usually providing points for completed homework assignments, you would think that grades would at least improve with more homework, but that’s not the case. In reality, homework does nothing to improve your grade in school.
What does show a correlation between it and better grades and test scores?
The stuff the schools ARE NOT focusing on, which really kills their credibility as experts of academia.
1. Learning a musical instrument. “Analysis showed that students engaged in music programs outperformed their peers on every indicator: grade-point average, graduation rate, ACT scores, attendance and discipline referrals. Overall, the study demonstrated that the more a student participates in music, the more positive these benefits become.” Don’t believe me? Draw from your own personal experience. What kind of grades did the band geeks in your school make? In fact, now that you think about it, what kind of jobs do all those band geeks you went to school with have? Studies have also shown that playing instruments and singing improves grades for the impoverished, closing the education gap. Check out KU research establishes link between music education, academic achievement for more info on the quoted info. Also check out Music Matters. In case you were curious, I play the piano.
2. Physically fit children perform better on standardized tests and grades, meaning extra-curricular activities like athletics are good for academics. Study: Physically Active Kids Perform Better Academically Also check out Active Education. In case you were curious, I was also in the military. My best was 73 pushups in a minute.
3. After-school programs not only keeps kids safe, improve attendance, and keep kids college bound, but it also has been shown to improve standardized test scores and grades. Afterschool Programs: Making a Difference in America’s Communities by Improving
Academic Achievement, Keeping Kids Safe and Helping Working Families
4. Breakfast improves a child’s ability to perform in school. Habitual breakfast greatly benefited math grades. The healthier, better, more options, and more food of the breakfast, the better the performance. The effects of breakfast on behavior and academic performance in children and adolescents
5. Social Play. Recess improves performance. “In one study, researchers found that the best predictor of academic performance in eighth grade was a child’s social skills in third grade. Another hint that play matters, Pellis says, is that ‘countries where they actually have more recess tend to have higher academic performance than countries where recess is less.'” According to Pellis, the experience of play changes the neurons at the front of the brain. Scientists Say Child’s Play Helps Build A Better Brain
Homework interferes with all these ideas as opposed to helping them. I’m sorry, but you schools have these kids 7 to 8 hours a day. What do you think a couple hours after the fact is going to accomplish that you couldn’t already do? Do you really just want to make tired kids more tired? Do you really want to keep them too busy to do any extra-curricular activities designed to actually improve their performance academically? You cannot have our children’s souls. Stop with the homework. We parents already finished school. Please don’t make us repeat it anymore.
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