My friend graduated Nursing school, so we all got drunk.

Today is Use your Words writing prompt. Ok, I’m going to be honest with you. I knew this was coming. I knew this was due on Friday, today. I just didn’t know it was Friday, like I still think it’s Tuesday, and my google calendar notified me last night during my second drink at a huge party, and I’m a little slow today. So slightly hungover with children begging me for attention, I’m going to spit out a blog post using words hand selected by Someone Else’s Genius. 

I just need a topic… 

Ok. So last night my friend Jamie graduated from nursing school. She is officially an LPN. I’m so proud of her. 

When we first became friends, my life made sense, and she was a hot mess. She had two boys ages 2 and 3 at the time, and she was barely old enough to drink. She had no idea what she wanted to do with her life, well she had some idea, but it was a stupid idea, so stupid I refuse to post it here because it would incriminate against both of us. So, anyway, now after many years of friendship, I’m the hot mess with 3 girls back to back, and Jamie is the one with her shit together. 

It wasn’t easy. She actually is the mother of 3. Her youngest child, her daughter, Deziray, passed away when she was 2 years old resulting from Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. She was diagnosed at 6 months of age with a brain tumor, and successfully beat cancer by the age of 2; however, cancer left her somewhat broken and vulnerable, so a common cold sent her to the ER, and I’m not sure if the nurse gave her too much oxygen sparking the ARDS, or if the ARDS happened on its own. 

The bottom line was a nurse wasn’t doing her job right and potentially played a huge role in losing a child. But it was the nurses who helped my friend through so much in taking care of her child. Somehow, the entire experience showed my friend in her darkest hour what she is truly capable of. Despite working full time and being the breadwinner in her family, she managed to take care of her 2 boys and a baby who needed so much. She blindly went into the medical profession as a mother, and now she is armed with certification and knowledge. 

She is exactly the kind of woman whose story empowers others. 

Following the graduation ceremony was a huge party. Her parents own campgrounds along the river, and her father spent quite a bit of his life owning a bar for a living, so they have the place set up for the most epic parties you can imagine. Their little unknown haven is nestled along side a little cliff along the river. They have a boat with a huge dock, and walking up the stairs and ramps lead you to one of those open shelters you find in a park, but his is unlike any you will see in a park. It is decorated with random signs like, “What happens at the river stays at the river.” (Yeah, unless I show up and blog about it). There’s a traffic light to bring color to the night’s scene. It has 2 refrigerators, speakers and stereo, and cabinets full of things like plastic cups and beer pong kits. Next to that little shelter is a place for a fire. They jimmied some sort of hubcap from a semi truck or something unusual like that into a fire pit. Most “parties” or evenings sitting along side the river includes Miller Light, Jimmy Buffet, a cozy fire, and people from all over the campground.

Battle Axe Part 2 is Co-Owner of the Party Cove

Last night, they extended their usual party scene. One of our friends is a DJ, so they set him up in an open field the size of suburbia’s back yard where we created a dance floor, but be careful, the corner to the right of the DJ has some sort of hole and tree root sticking out of the ground. We weren’t as drunk as we appeared. Maybe we were.

The Best DJ EVER

The “Diet Coke” Flip Cup Game

Then they took another open fielded area between campers and set up a beer pong table, and a cup flipping table. Apparently relay races are not only for children. I never heard of it, but you drink your cup of beer, set it right side up on the edge of the table, and flip it. First one to get the cup to flip right side up with one flip, and little drunken telekinesis, wins, or if there’s more on your team, it goes to the next person. I’m just too old to know about this game. When I was young and drinking, we did Spades, Dominoes, Poker, Strip Poker, and Presidents and Assholes (which I still don’t totally understand because you have to be drunk for it to make sense, and it’s hard to remember things you learned drunk when you are sober). 

Then there’s the huge field across the way where tents were set up for drunk people to crash and freeze.

Most of the people at this party, I never met before because they were in my friend’s nursing class. Some were really young, and there was this one woman who was much older than me dropping it like it’s hot better than those young ones. But of course, the person I hung out with the most was a very young flaming gay guy who I swore most of the night was my girlfriend as I’m the butch one in our relationship. He won the Limbo contest some girl who looks exactly like Star from The Lost Boys on a whim decided to have with a sash from one of the nurses. I would have won considering I’m double jointed, but my boobs were totally working against me. My boobs were also kind of falling out of my dress (I don’t fit in any of my clothes anymore thanks to those Apple Pies I kept eating whole in one sitting last Thanksgiving; so what?), and I swear my cleavage acted as an arrow to grab me here because just about everyone who wouldn’t make my husband jealous at some point honked my boob, including my girlfriend by accident.

My girlfriend and I, dancing, or better said, I was holding him up.

The craziest person at the party just happened to also be the most sober person at the party.

I guess if I mention her shenanigans, I won’t be allowed to tag people with this blog post on Facebook, but anyway, she dry humped a lot of people, with a balloon in the shape of a number 1 that turned phallic symbol quick on us. Some people licked her balloon. She also dry humped a minivan’s windshield for the unsuspecting audience trying to leave. We have pictures, and video.

Speaking of which, pictures. Ok, so some people at this party are not allowed be seen at places like this party for reasons I cannot mention, so I can’t just post pictures and tag people. But I want to post pictures anyway, so I’m going to be doing that later. If you read this blog, come back later for the pictures. I have to post this without pictures because I forgot it was Friday. Whatever it takes to get this up close to on time, right?

All right… pictures…

That is not really George Lopez and Katy Perry. This was obviously photoshopped.

This is their authentic Bit Strip Profile Faces