The mom blogosphere on the internet has pretty much reached a consensus that Caillou is a little bitch.
Someone needs to call child protection services on Max and Ruby for neglect.
It’s possible Yo Gabba Gabba promotes use of acid and acid reflux.
The music of Veggi-Tales might make your brain stab itself repeatedly with a fork.
Dora needs to pay attention because my kid already answered her question 10 times and she’s still standing their with a blank face blinking, unresponsive, like my husband.
I tend to use the F-word freely, but let’s pretend the word offends me for a second, I would still say the only word to accurately describe the deranged world of Adventure Time is fucked-up, and that’s an understatement.
Modern cartoons for kids are not exactly a mom favorite. It’s great our kids watch these shows, but we don’t really like hearing them, or even worse, gasp, sitting next to our kids to watch them.
I find myself asking myself, “What happened to the good cartoons?”
Here’s a list of my favorites growing up from most favorite to least favorite…
- Shera Princess of Power
- Thundercats
- Ducktales
- Silver Hawks
- Jem (she’s truly outrageous)
- Rainbow Brite
- My Little Pony
- Smurfs
- Scooby Doo
These cartoons were better drawn, even if the technology wasn’t as awesome. They had better story lines. They had plot. Drama. They gave you the sensation that you too could save the world from Misfit Music and Murky Lurky’s dismal fog.
I was determined as a mother to not deprive my children of real culture. My kids were going to get real cartoons.
I found most of these on DVD. Netflix actually put Jem’s saga on blast. And for a span of 3 years, I watched episodes of my childhood with my children begrudgingly sitting next to me. At times, I almost had to hold their face at the TV and scream, “Watch! Watch this! It’s better than your shows. I swear it’s better than your shows!”
Well. Kids….
Something I used to love, but now hate is the good cartoons.
It was like that moment you see your high school crush for the first time in 20 years. The anxious excitement has you peeing your pants in anticipation, and then you meet, eyes locked in a romantic reunion, and the butterflies in your stomach turn into wiggly tequila worms making you giggle as you ask yourself, “What the hell was I thinking?”
There were times I was actually embarrassed I once liked this stuff.
Shera and the Thundercats does the same thing over and over again. I had no idea. As a child, I just didn’t notice that every show was the same. Bad guys start drama, and all the good guys get a serious face and then kick butt with cheesy one-liners that just can’t compete with Bruce Willis. I remember thinking they were witty once.
Jem, I’m sorry, but really. How do you keep getting yourself in your predicaments? 
I think Jem might be addicted to being the helpless victim. In fact, I think she does it on purpose for the attention. And the 80’s romance? So 80’s. Let’s put the guy with purple hair and a jacket with its collar popped up and have him hold her in a kiss and then not talk to her for weeks upon end. Yes, totally appropriate for children.
Rainbow Brite, do you think you could just, I don’t know, take some extra star sprinkles with you? You always run out. Clint Eastwood never runs out of Ammo. You should watch some westerns.
How do these My Little Ponies cook without opposable thumbs?
I would say the ONLY show I watched as a child and still find awesome to this day where I can stomach sitting with my children to watch them is Scooby Doo. Even then, I still find myself, “Velma, just get some stinking contact lenses and a make-over, and quit talking like a know-it-all. You discovered the werewolf was a human in a costume, again. It’s not the cure for cancer.”
This was part of
For more posts on things I loved but now hate, check out
Kristi from Finding Ninee
Allie (this week’s sentence thinker upper) of The Latchkey Mom
Kelly of Just TypiKel.
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