I’m at a gas station and a guy walks up to pay right behind me right as I say, “I’m going to try some birth control and see what happens.” What was the conversation? Mind you, this is the gas station I go to all the time. They know me. They will let me leave and come back to pay for my gas.
I approach the counter with my Diet Coke and Donut. I repeat that like there’s something wrong with it. The woman didn’t think there was something wrong with this. I think it’s obvious. DIET soda and a DONUT. Diet and Donut do not belong in the same sentence together. BTW, the donut was delicious and it was worth every calorie.
With that said, for more oxymoronic nonsense, I tell the lady…
Me: I stopped taking my medication because it makes me gain weight and I’d rather be crazy than fat.
She, Debbie: (Laughing Hysterically) What were you taking? Something for your anxiety?
Thought note here: My anxiety is that obvious I see.
Me: Well actually the doctor diagnosed me with bipolar during PMS. He was like, “Your moods are leveling out I think these meds are where they need to be,” when really I just started my period.
Debbie: (Laughing hysterically)
Me: (as I’m walking away) I’m going to try some birth control pills and see what happens.
Guy: (Weird look)
Me: Well, not for birth control, for the hormones. Well…. Debbie’s seen my kids. I obviously need birth control too…
Debbie: (Barely able to hold herself up laughing)
I left. Like that. Just like that.
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