I was driving down the road listening to, gasp, the radio, and it was talk radio because not one Top 40 station in town doesn’t have some morning show. I can’t remember if it was Elvis Duran or Bob and Sherry or some other show, but they were talking about Pet Peeves. People were calling in with stuff like…
Talking loudly on the cell phone in public… Um it’s ok to talk loudly to each other in public so as long as it’s not on a cell phone? For me, all conversations you people have in public is loud and proud because I have heightened senses. I hear everything. People on their periods with a weird rash. Yes I heard you whisper about it to your mother getting your cream. Or I have no idea who you are talking about, but it sounds like a family member, and they sound like an asshole. And by the way, Frank already told you 3 times he was going to automotive Miss “where did Frank go?” So to someone like me, this has got to be the dumbest motherfucking pet peeve I have ever heard of.
Children in public places… Ok, for all you people who didn’t breed, probably because you can’t get laid, children are hyperactive, run all over the place, loud, bored individuals. They tend to cry when they don’t get their way and over boo boos that are nonexistent. They fight with each other over “she’s copying me” and “she’s not my friend anymore.” When they feel strongly about something, it usually comes out in a loud banshee scream. And newsflash, you used to be one of those assholes. Consider it karma when I take my kids in public and they step on your oh so sensitive nerves. And all you moms who be like, “I don’t want to hear your kids when I’m away from mine,” my suggestion, next time you get away, go to a fucking bar. See this one, this one makes me want to describe what it’s like watching your kid throw up spaghetti.
People who write a check… You know, how a person handles their money is their own business. If they want to be old school and write a check, I DO, let them. I’ll tell you why I do. I have 2 accounts. One is a debit card account, one the husband accesses. The other is a check and atm only account, one the husband doesn’t access due to its lack of debit card. I do that for two reasons. 1. to have a stash of cash because the husband will spend it if he can touch it. 2. my bank charges 25 cents for every debit card transaction. They can kiss my ass with that shit I’ll write a check. I’m sorry if you had to wait an extra 60 seconds to get to your turn to take forever to do whatever it is you are doing. If you are annoyed that someone tells you to have patience, then you probably need to follow their advice to save your soul.
Pet peeves are supposed to be something like, “the line on the form isn’t long enough to write my name.” Or music that sounds like strobe lighting. Tea that is too sweet. Not stuff like, “this person was living.” Hello. Anyone in there? Think McFly. Think.There’s a fine line between rude people (i.e. people who drive fast to pull out in front of you in traffic and then go real slow) and people (i.e. a mom going grocery shopping with her kids and paying by check while talking on her cell phone). If you are bitching about people living, you are my biggest pet peeve. In the words of Too Short, “Let my nuts go, biatch.”
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