What I did today that pissed me off.

Gabby has lots of cavities, like 6 of them, and she’s 7 years old. And they hurt bad. This is normal in my house. I can’t deny my children the finer things in life like sugar because YOLO.

We go to the only Pediatric Dentist in town, who is a great dentist; unfortunately, I could probably throat punch one of the bitches behind the desk. This is medical care in my neck of the woods at its finest. All front office staff in this area sucks, some so bad regardless how great the doctor is, I won’t fuck with them. Most doctors have no idea how to manage staff. I’m seriously thinking about writing a snarky letter to all the nearby medical schools about requiring some general business and management classes in the curriculum.

So anyway, they want to put Gabby under at the hospital to fix her teeth, especially with her autism. This is the advantage of going to a Pediatric Dentist. I’m all for it. We did this with my middle kid when she had a bunch of cavities at the toddler age. It was perfect. They knocked her out. A couple hours later, I’m sitting with her in a room waiting for her to eat something, drink something and worse of all, pee, so we can leave. She experienced no pain, and she loves the dentist.

So we had to get cleared by a regular physician, someone who is willing to be on standby on that day in case shit goes wrong, like if she goes into anaphylactic shock. Only one doctor, supposedly, in town is willing to do that for this dentist, and he does all her patients. They wouldn’t let me make the appointment myself. The bitch was rude about it too. Very pushy. So she made the appointment for today. Yesterday the office called Rafael (the husband) to confirm, and he never asked where they were located because that’s a question only the person in charge of taking the kid to said appointment would ask.

Here I am this morning. I knew she had to be with Dr. Wolfe by 10:30. I was told numerous times by the dental bitch that if she was late at all, they won’t see her ever again. So I Bing’ed (Google on my phone) Dr. Wolfe West Virginia. There are two Dr. Wolfe’s in my neighborhood, and one in a nearby town. And for one of the offices I was going to guess, different sites had different phone numbers.

So I picked a phone number, called it, and got “Thank you for calling Dr. Wolfe’s office… blah blah blah push 3 to get someone at the front desk.” I pushed 3. I explain the situation, multiple offices I have no idea where I’m going and I am on my way. She looked up my daughter, and then gave me another number to try.

I call that number and get a busy signal. My phone didn’t log the number I called on account there was no answer. I’m doing this while driving. I’m so glad these people are with the times to know people would be attempting this shit on a smart phone while driving. I did NOT Bing it though while driving.

So I call the original number back for the number she gave me because by this time, I forgot. I figure, this is a good time to ask questions about how many Dr. Wolfe’s exist in the area and where they are. They answered the phone with, “Do you mind holding please?” And i was like fine. How much you want to bet they come back while I’m in Burger King’s drive thru trying to order my precious double bacon croissant?

Well, they never got back to me. I waited 10 minutes before hanging up. I then called the dentist. I explained everything to the receptionist, who then responded with, “You need to talk to [the bitch I’d love to throat punch]. It took her about 3 minutes to answer her phone. She’s pissed. She thinks the appointment SHE MADE is at 10:00 AM and not 10:30, and the time is 10:10. She was like, “They probably won’t see you now that you are late. There’s no other doctor who will do this. We can’t do the surgery.” I’m thinking, “Bitch I already paid you cash to do this surgery you will do it.” No, instead, I was like, “Well if they won’t see her, I’ll just find someone myself of my choice who will.” She was like, “Nobody else will.” I’m like, “I’m sure I can find someone.” Mind you, my mom is really good friends with a doctor in her choir. He would do this for us easy.  It was as if her neurotic bitchness wanted me to freak out. I just refused to freak out, no matter how much she tried to get me to all demonic like.

Then I realized, my brain backtracking in the conversation, she has the wrong appointment time in her head. This isn’t the first time she did this to me. She has a record of fucking up appointments. Back in July, I made an appointment with her on my way out the door with Gabby for Annabelle. She made the appointment some day in August. I put it in my Google Calendar. I know it was in August. I remember thinking, “Damn, you know she has a cavity you can see, like you can’t get her in any sooner than that? Really? A whole month?”

YES ALL THREE OF MY KIDS HAD CAVITIES. Yes I feel bad for it. No I won’t stop giving them Splenda or sugar. Yes we are flossing now and I’m getting on the teeth brushing thing better.

Day of appointment, I’m driving Annabelle to the mall to shop, and my phone notifies me of the appointment a half hour before it. So we go to it. They were like, “You missed it. It was in July.” I’m like “No, the appointment was for today.” They kept reiterating how I MISSED the appointment, and then I was like, “No, I did not miss the appointment. That is right now. Today. I am here. You guys missed the appointment. Quit saying that I missed the appointment. You missed it.” I’m almost certain bitch changed it without notifying me. They offered to let me wait with my overactive 4 year old for a couple hours for them to squeeze her in. LMAO. These bitches are on some shit if they think I’m going to sit for a few hours in their waiting room with my kid. You can tell these bitches never reproduced, and they really don’t know children enough to be working with them in my opinion.

Anyway, I correct bitch on the phone. “The appointment is at 10:30. We will be late if you don’t tell me where the office is. Given how long it obviously takes to call someone to find an office location, we’re probably going to be a little late. This is why you need to do business with someone with better customer service.” Seriously, I never had this problem looking for a Macy’s.

She tells me, despite her bad direction giving. I asked the right questions to find where I needed to go. She did the whole, “Well I’ll call and tell them what’s going on and maybe, just maybe, they will forgive this and see her.” Yeah. Thanks for the “favor.” Now that’s some sociopathic bull shit right there. You know, if she would have let me make the appointment myself, I would have learned BEFORE the appointment that there were multiple offices and I would have asked where it was.

So then I get there at 10:30 exactly. I sign my kid in. We wait 10 minutes, and the lady calls me up to the desk. “You have the wrong office. We don’t have a Gabrielle on schedule. You want the one next door.”

Ok. Next door I can work with. I get in there, and mind you, the way this works…

The building is one building connected, with multiple doors into various businesses separated by walls. Shopping complex like. But this office, they were not separated by a wall. They were separated by the front desk windows. Imagine a square where the back is not a wall but a hall. The front is the main wall to the outside. The left is a window. The right is a window. And two receptionists who couldn’t communicate with each other, “Hey do you have a Gabby on your schedule?” are working there. There are two Dr. Wolfe’s working out of this office. One is a pediatrician. The one we need to see.

I get there at 10:45. I signed her in as getting there at 10:30 because nurses chart whatever the fuck they want. Seriously they do. When they forget to take your temperature when they were supposed to, best believe it’s on your chart that they took your temperature, and it was normal. Now if you die from a fever nobody tracked, they probably won’t get sued because your family will have no idea someone neglected to take your temperature. This actually does happen, a lot, especially in nursing homes. So, if they chart whatever they want, I will too. We were there at 10:30. Just the wrong side.

Then the woman with no eye contact made us wait 25 minutes before handing me paperwork to fill out. We were there almost an hour before seeing the doctor. Mind you, this is the place that won’t see you ever again if you are late.

Now this front desk lady was rude too. When I turned in the paperwork, I started to ask, “Is it ok if I just leave this here?” and she interrupted at “is it ok” with, “I’ll be with you in a moment.” I watched her for 5 minutes doing stuff, and I rudely watched her, you know the obvious stare, until she got to me. Then of course, “Do you have your insurance card?” and I’m like, “I’m not sure. My kids played in my wallet recently and stuff like that disappears when they do, hold on.” She was like, “If you don’t have it, we can’t see you.” Now I’m sorry, but I’d really like to go 10 whole fucking minutes today without hearing someone saying, “We can’t see you.” Bitch I’m paying you. I’m the pimp. You’re the ho. Know your place.

In the paperwork, I discover their policy is if you are more than 20 minutes late, they can’t see you, and if you are a first-time patient of theirs, they won’t reschedule a no-show.

So pissed off, livid, I get to the doctor. I had every intention on giving this guy a crash course in Customer Service 101. No. It NEVER works that way. He was really super nice. He was great with kids. High Five. How old are you? What school do you go to? Ok, while I do this, try not to laugh. Ok, laugh, but don’t fart…. Great doctor.

And now Gabby wants to switch to him for her regular doctor.


PS. Super pissed we are in a culture where it’s ok for healthcare to hold your kid’s health hostage to make you play their bull shit games, even if you are paying the overpriced prices. You know, if a pizza joint did this, nobody would eat that pizza.

PPS. Now you see why kid’s appointments is almost a full time job? I could hire someone to do this if I could afford the hours.

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