TMI Details About My Sex Life and Orgasm History

once-thought-was-slut-women-demotivational-posters-1351163965Ready for some TMI about orgasms? Trying to understand the female orgasm is like trying to understand the theory of time travel, the chemical composition of your prescription drugs, the IRS pub 17, the code when you right click and see properties of a web page, why men have nipples, if Sarah Palin and Michele Bachman are being serious, Miley Cyrus’s tongue in that one VMA awards, and answering the age old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg (or Miley or the foam finger?)…

Dr. Psych Mom diverted my attention to the topic of sex through some sort of debate between one of her readers and a Jane.

Quote the Jane

From Jane to Reader:

You realise that your claimed experiences must be very rare. No one had even heard of the clitoris until Kinsey’s work in the 1950’s. Even today most couples don’t know it exists. The connection between clitoral stimulation and orgasm comes from women’s experience of masturbation alone. How do you justify offering intercourse when you can come by yourself? What is the point? Your claimed orgasm frequency is also way off the chart. Women simply do not respond as you describe. It is also not possible to use masturbation fantasies with a lover. I know because I have tried. Your experience doesn’t make any sense and certainly is not representative of 99% of women.

Can you explain why you can achieve what I would say is quite impossible? Any theories or research to support your claims?

Kind regards,
Jane

So I checked out Jane’s page, and she seems really curious in how females orgasm. You really can’t blame her for being so skeptical. Many females struggle with their orgasms. She also thinks we don’t talk about it enough because we are scared or shy, so I guess I’m going to have to turn my brass bollocks into shiny gold ones and tell you what we are too ashamed to say in public. Mind you I don’t hear men talk about the details of their ability to orgasm with each other, but considering my cousin just told me I was white trash for posting on Facebook that I once fucked the Full back in college and not the entire football team like rumors suggested, well now I must write this post…

Jane asks on her page…

Once we accept that female orgasm from inter­course is diffi­cult, the more inter­esting ques­tion is how women orgasm during sex BY ANY MEANS (oral sex or manual stim­u­la­tion of the clit­oris). How can a woman who is familiar with orgasm from masturb­a­tion alone learn how to exper­i­ence some­thing similar during sex? Please e-mail me, Jane with your story.

Some ideas for context that might help others:

  • Please provide some basic personal back­ground: age, sexual exper­i­ence, rela­tion­ship history etc.

  • Can you masturbate your­self to orgasm (if so, how exactly, how often, since when)?

  • If you can orgasm with a partner: what tech­nique do you use, how long did it take for you to learn toorgasm during sex in this way and how do these orgasms compare with those from masturb­a­tion (if relevant)?

  • What role do sexual fantasies play in both masturb­a­tion and sex with a partner?

  • What impact does the rela­tion­ship have on your ability to orgasm? Can you orgasm during sex with different partners?

  • How often do you initiate sex with your partner and/or masturbate alone on average?

 

Well Jane. You are in luck. My BFF Erica is going to help me answer this. She is an LPN, and like me, has a history of nymphomania. We are now two small town moms who have no social life anymore. Remind you, these are the types of conversations we have at a restaurant.

Let’s get started.

north-american-slut-i-clas-thomas-svensson

First your questions…

  • Please provide some basic personal back­ground: age, sexual exper­i­ence, rela­tion­ship history etc.

Michelle: I just recently celebrated the 7th anniversary of my 29th birthday. I am a reformed whore. I lost my virginity when I was about 16 or 17. Since then, I have had a series of one night stands and meaningless relationships until I met my husband. I have had sex with men for stupid reasons like I was sick of them begging for it. My relationships were short lived and open (we could see other people) because I didn’t want a serious relationship (too much drama). All of my sexual encounters were conservative in nature, like I never really got into bondage, or threesomes, or anything like that, but when you are dumping men every time you start to get too close, well let’s just say I’ve honestly lost count. I’ve also been raped. I’ve been drugged, and I’ve been with a guy who simply refused to take No for an answer. In addition, I can’t count how many times I was somewhere trying to sleep and a man was trying to have sex with me. One, I can confirm made it in, and we later dated because why not, we already had sex, might as well make him buy me a drink. When I met my husband, I was seriously attracted to the fact that he had been with more women, sexually, than I had been with men.

Erica is a nymphomaniac. She lost her virginity at 13. And her sexual history is similar to mine (a lot of men, but never really anything to risque) except she has less guilt about it and is more open to her sexuality. She too has a rape in her history. She is attracted to controlling men when it comes to relationships, but when it comes to sex, she seems to favor hard-working, beer-drinking good ole boys. She is currently single.

Both of us really just look at men the way men look at women. We both also have higher levels of testosterone than most women.

  • Can you masturbate your­self to orgasm (if so, how exactly, how often, since when)?

Michelle: Yes I can masturbate to orgasm. I’ve been doing it since I was 2 years old. Freud will love me as a patient when I die. It started with a strange obsession with rubbing the edge of my diaper where you could rub the material together. Somehow I figured out to play with myself from that.

Erica started masturbating for men when they requested, so the first time she ever masturbated was a late age, and the purpose wasn’t to achieve an orgasm. Now that she’s a grown up, she masturbates for orgasms and gets them every time.

I don’t masturbate often. At first, it just felt like dead people were watching me, and now, it’s a guilt thing. I have a husband ready, able and willing to tap my that in front of any audience, in any location… I probably average once a month with it. I think all women aim for clitoral stimulation when masturbating.

Erica: I masturbate 3-4 times a week. Sometimes I use toys, but the issue with vibrators is while laying it on top of your clit while it vibrates can get you off fast, it desensitizes you. Men can’t move like the machine. Unless you want a relationship with R2D2, avoid those in masturbation. It’s best to use your own fingers or a dildo that does not vibrate.

 

  • If you can orgasm with a partner: what tech­nique do you use, how long did it take for you to learn to orgasm during sex in this way and how do these orgasms compare with those from masturb­a­tion (if relevant)?

Michelle: At this point, I get an orgasm every time I have sex unless I don’t want to have one. Yeah, there are nights where I am like, “Just do me from behind and be quick about it.” I’m married, with kids. That happens. But for the most part, I cum like a man.

When I first started having sex, I didn’t orgasm. It rather hurt. My first orgasm from someone other than myself was a guy who went down on me. He had a tongue ring. I can’t remember when I first orgasmed during sex, but I think it was when I was with an older man. I was probably 18, and he was 37. The first many times I orgasmed during sex, I have no idea how it happened or why it happened. I do remember going through a phase first though of where it occurred when my lady bits would rub against his skin during copulation, where every pelvic thrust stroked the bits.

Eventually with practice, I started obtaining orgasm from the inside. There’s a g-spot of some sort in there, I think the other side of my clit, that if rubbed the right way, I get off. The best stimulation is a combination of all the buttons being push.

After having kids, it was more comfortable to have sex. I didn’t get any cramping like I used to, but it’s harder to get me off. It’s like all my g-spots grew a thick skin tissue over it, and you almost have to pound through it with force for those spots to feel anything. It’s so much more effort than it used to be. Lots of things changed in there, but I can do kegels much better now.

It’s hard to say what orgasms are the best. You get to a point where they are just different. My husband has made me cum in ways no man or myself ever could, and some of my exes are the same way, but in the end, when it comes to frequency of orgasms and intensity in a game of statistics, I’m the best I’ve ever had. But I will say my orgasms have gotten better and better with age, so I think the more you have an orgasm, the better they are.

Erica: I lost my virginity at 13, and started orgasming during sex at 16. At first, sex was awkward and painful. The orgasms with men vs masturbating depends on the partner. I find if you stimulate my nipples and clit at the same time, I will go off like a rocket. If you do the clit without the nipples, I will still orgasm, but not as fast or as intense. I used to be able to orgasm before children, and this was the one time size does matter. Most orgasms were clitoral stimulation; however, I can have orgasms if you hit the g-spot. Now that I have had children, it’s a little harder to find, and you must be well endowed to hit it.

 

  • What role do sexual fantasies play in both masturb­a­tion and sex with a partner?

Michelle: When I’m having sex, if I think about other men, I can’t cum from the guilt of being with someone who is not them. It’s not fair to the one I’m with, or the one I’m thinking about. If I’m masturbating, and I think of men I’d like to be with, the love part gets in the way. For some reason, my attraction, no matter how sexual it seems, isn’t really sexual at all. My best fantasy to think about is myself. I imagine my lady bits being touched and aroused. I envision my lady garden blooming to full bloom. I imagine the sex itself. I think of my curves. I imagine things I would do with my clone of myself. I know, vain. But that’s not always the case. That’s what I think about now that I’ve been married for 10 years.

Before the imprisonment of marriage, I didn’t fantasize at all. Every man I was with where I wanted to be with them, it was all about the attraction. I was lost in the chemistry like something straight out of a movie. I didn’t think about anything really except trying to get closer than what we already were. I wanted our souls to entwine. I wanted him to cum in me even though I didn’t want to get pregnant or contract an STD. I wanted us to become one, and there was nothing else to think about besides that.

My thing is all my hormones are intense, more so than most people. I have a point of no return. A man can turn me on, and for the most part, I can get up and walk away, but at some point of that turned-onness, a switch flips in my brain, and I’m on savage animal instinct. It’s like lady blue balls. If I don’t get off at that point, I get cramps for a few hours. That’s also the point where I could possibly rape a man if he changed his mind. Fortunately, none of them have changed their mind. Sex is the only thing on my mind, like a dog and its bone. Like a man, my thoughts are usually focused on the next step. I want him to kiss me. I want him to kiss my ears. I want him to take off his shirt….

I didn’t really ask Erica this question, but I’ve heard her moan for McDonalds Cheeseburgers once.

 

  • What impact does the rela­tion­ship have on your ability to orgasm? Can you orgasm during sex with different partners?

Michelle: I can orgasm with different partners. Just about every partner I’ve had in the 5 years before marriage I had an orgasm every time, unless I don’t want to. Before marriage, the relationship had no effect on the sex outside of everything being a first and a mystery. The less I know about a man, the better the sex.

Now that I’m married, our relationship outside of the bedroom has a direct impact on it inside the bedroom. My main thing is if I’m at a phase where I can’t trust him, I don’t want to be with him intimately. I can’t be with him when I feel like I’m raising a son. He has to take care of me and man up to responsibilities.

I do have one ex boyfriend where we were able to time our orgasms without talking about it at the same time.

Erica orgasms with different partners.

Now that we answered most of these questions, READ about how Erica achieves Multiple Orgasms and other tips to achieving the female orgasm…

FYI, I’m sharing this on my Facebook page where ex-boyfriends might read this. LOL

 

 

 

 

 

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