I Just Realized I’m White! By a Former Culture Vulture

“I can’t believe it took me so long to realize that…”

Finish the Sentence Friday

I can’t believe it took me so long to realize that I’m white.

Pretty Fly for a White Guy. An article about Cultural Appropriation.

For years, I’d tell men,

I’m all chocolate baby. This white stuff is just the candy coating, so I melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

While it’s a great pick-up line with a black man, not that a girl like me needs a pick up line with any man, I’m kidding, the point is I wasn’t being true to myself.

I’m going to share a video. It’s a white woman trying to achieve the hair style of a black woman. My opinion…

A link to the Facebook Post on the page Hair Tutorials.

If I saw a white woman with hair like that, I wouldn’t realize she was aiming for black culture. I would think she was aiming for 80’s and messed it up a little.

I kind of get white women wanting to be more black because…

A. I was that way in high school, the black model off of Models Inc., I wanted her hair so bad. Not to mention MY G-funk era. Black women accepted me more so than white women, and I honestly feel more relaxed around black culture than white culture because they keep it real, so I’m free to be myself. I don’t have to be fake to avoid drama or make friends. I know that’s stereotypical, but you know, we all have our experiences. Don’t get me wrong, some white people are cool. Some black people aren’t. I’m talking about the general culture. I’m just saying if I did a scholarly study on the subject, the stats would definitely show a correlation.

B. They say the original humans were darker skin, darker hair, darker eyes, and I can see a natural Darwin sense to want to be that again. Maybe that’s the root of racism. Maybe the hate comes from a very silent jealousy.

Garcelle Beauvais, the black girl from Models Inc.
Garcelle Beauvais, the black girl from Models Inc.

I find black women empowering (like Michelle Obama, Mary J. Blige, and Erykah Badu), but for the most part, I just see people when I see people. Not race. I know I sound like I’m about the race, but black people is a cultural thing, not a racial thing in my eyes.

I see culture. I almost have to. My husband is Puerto Rican, straight from the island. To most people in West Virginia, he’s Hispanic, and most of them think as a result, he’s Mexican. Now go to Florida, and you’ll see a cultural battle between Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Dominican Republicans, Mexicans… By race, they are all Hispanic. By culture, they are so much more, and so different from each other.

A Jamaican Black Man is going to be from a completely different culture than an African Black Man or an African American. I dare you to give a Jamaican man a beaded bracelet of red, green and black. Their flag is yellow, green and black.

I respect people have pride in their culture and heritage. I wish more people did that: respect people’s pride in culture without making it about race or religion…. Or stereotype like I used to.

Now mind you, back in my culture vulture days, it wasn’t mainstream. The balance of power was against me. I wasn’t accepted by white communities because I dressed black, listened to rap, and dated black men. I have been called the N-word. I’ve been called a N-word lovin whore. I’ve also been called a whigger. I’ve never been a cold-ass honky though, but I’ve had black men call me “my nigga,” and “homie.” Pretty tight yo.

I was a black wannabe before it was mainstream. It wasn’t cool then either.  It’s kind of cool I’m one of the reasons why you all want to do it now. I’m a true OMG (Original Masquerading Gangsta), part of the HNWA (Honky Nillas with Attitude). Aunt Jemima’s Sista Betty Crocker. A cornbred Cracker Jack reppin 2-1-3 tracks. Part of the Butter Cream Puff Gang.

But as my friends and I grew up, I realized that the black culture is SO MUCH MORE than baggy jeans, Air Jordans / Fila / K-Swiss / Timberlands, Bandanas, TuPac, and Afro Puffs. The true culture is flamboyantly honest with soul food, a little Praise Jesus Hallelujah Amen Sista getting it right with the Lord, a lot of loyalty and acceptance, which are all noble things. Things black people weren’t told to change by the man.

Yeah. I vultured that culture. Still do. The REAL culture. But I don’t have to say, “Pretty tight yo, fo shizzle” to be a part of it. I don’t have to drink OE to toast to it. I don’t have to have an afro to wear it. As long as I’m a poser, as long as I don’t stay true to myself, I’ll never truly be a part of it.

It’s ok if you take pride in your heritage. It’s ok if other people take pride in a different heritage than you. It’s ok to embrace another culture. BUT there’s a fine line between embracing other people’s culture and mocking it.

A cultural exchange is perfectly acceptable, but cultural appropriation has a balance of power with it, which is why it’s insulting.

It is totally messed up that some white people are racist, but at the same time, trying to get a tan, butt implants, thicker lips… If I were black, it would bug me. Like it’s sweet when people want to be like me, but on larger scale, black people endure so much racism from white people on a daily basis (i.e. look at the bottom of this post for ridiculous white people comments), and for white people to turn around and steal the culture like we did Rock n Roll and Hip Hop, it’s insulting.

Now I’m not dishing out the haterade here. I don’t care how you do your hair. I’m just trying to explain why so many black women are insulted by this. Why it mocks the black culture. Why I am finally realizing I’m white.

Think of this way. Ladies, when you wear a dress, and the next day, some girl you saw yesterday is wearing the same dress, you know it’s sweet she got that from you, but it still annoys you because that was your thing, not hers. Now that’s amplified if when you wore the dress, you heard someone say about you, “Ewww. Fashion Police need to hit that one. Talk about a Train. Wreck.” The girls she was talking to agreed. And then, she wears the same dress the next day, and the girl she was talking to is all, “I love that dress on you.” Now you really hate them bitches don’t you?

I know this true because I go through this every day in the blogging world. I say it, no likes. People argue with me in the comments: “That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Someone else says it after reading me say it, almost word for word, and 500 likes and 300 shares. And they didn’t even tap the like button on my post that says the same exact thing days before they did, and neither did a good percentage of our shared friends. I’ve seen blog posts similar to mine but poorly written have higher numbers in the shares and lots of comments. I’ve had a woman argue with me insulting me, belittling me, for my opinion, and three days later, damn near quote me word for word in agreement to someone else who had the same opinion as me. Why is it cool when someone else does it, but it sucks when I do it? I have a complex about this now. I am too careful and insecure with my words as a result.

That whole thing is a metaphor to this. Black people did it first because it’s who they are. We didn’t like it. Now that we are doing it, it’s trending? No, we are being culture vultures.

The point is, in Utopia, everyone would wear their hair curly and straight, any way they want, with no problems. In Utopia, it would be a cultural exchange. But in our society, because of racism, white people, you gotta chill on the being black until our culture accepts theirs and respects theirs. You wanna be black? Eat southern food, pray before your meal, love or hate people for who they truly are and not what you want them to be, brush off the haters with your head held high, and most importantly, the blackest thing you could ever be, be true to yourself.

And don’t knock a black woman for straightening her hair to fit in with our society. She shouldn’t feel like she has to do that to improve her chances to get a job or make friends.

Keep it real folks. Do YOUR thing. Stop hating people for doing their thing.


If Black People Said the Stuff White People Say. A must watch.



Some key comments from the video against it:

Yall criticize black women for our naturally popping afros and praise this mess lmao bye

I don’t blame people for being insulted.

I think it’s quite funny because white people have been always telling us how ugly our hair is (here in the country I live there’s a synonym for Afro hair that literally means “bad hair”) and now all of sudden they want to copy our hair because it’s “trendy”.
Just pathetic.

This one gets real as an argument against the declaration that black women try to look white with weaves and straightener…

WHITE PEOPLE ARE NOT THE ONLY PEOPLE WITH STRAIGHT HAIR. BLACK WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO LOOK WHITE. BLACK WOMEN DO NOT BUY CAUCASIAN HAIR. Black women buy mostly south east and southern Asian hair. Weaves protect our hair. And as far as relaxers go, when women are literally born in is society that teaches them to hate their hair and doesn’t educate them on how to deal with it, over course you’ll opt to use a relaxer. This girl did a good job but it’s not an Afro. It’s a straw twist out on Caucasian hair. But she called it an afro. AFRO. Derived from the word AFRICAN. Derived from the continent of AFRICA. So sure it’s cute and all but call it what it is. She wants this look because she probably has been seeing how beautiful all of these women of color are now that they are loving themselves and letting their true identities shine. So either way you spin it, it is about race. Damn black people honor your culture. Don’t be so giving with all of these people trying to wear it because at trendy because a black woman with the same hair or a child with the same hair have literally been denied jobs or been kicked out of their schools for wearing their hair like this.

Now this is funny…

This is why white people get fungus in their hair when trying imitate our hair. Ol’ nasty bitches.

But this sums it up well…

Well it doesn’t make sense when black women do it..” It’s ugly” or “too wild”but when a white women or some other does it ..it’s cute,ok, or unique

And so does this…

The problem is that WE get shunned for it. That our culture has red tape on it. That we were scrapped out of interviews because of our hair. That we were told that it was nappy and inappropriate.

Angry comment from the YouTube video…

Here go white people again stealing shit. You see the comments tho..? She’s cute, but if a black female would have wore it she would have been “ugly” or a “nappy nigger” . IM SLEEP. Everyone wanna be a nigga but nobody wanna be a nigga. And don’t come at me with that “black girls wear weaves” , ancient Egyptians wore weaves and yes the Egyptians were black. I’m so tired of this WAKE UP FAM, they are always stealing shit, culture, music, men, hair, dance, and features. Next they will be doing make up tutorials on how to make your lips look bigger, oh wait they already do that.

Some key comments defending it:

I guess we’re gonna just compare the two races when this is just a hair tutorial for STRAIGHT HAIR. Angry black women on this thread for absolutely no reason. This wasn’t for you. She did a twist out for straight hair. You’re taking this too far. Cultural appropriation got it but while yall are fighting over a hair style there’s bigger and better things to be upset about rather than a twist out tutorial from a European female. I can’t with you guys. Yall pick and choose which battle yall wanna fight and unfortunately you pick the most childish ones. She’s not claiming this style as her own. She didn’t say “natural hair tutorial” she’s not bashing our race. We get it we can wet our hair comb it out and dry it and boom Afro. But this is a twist out. Let her be and fight a better fight

I guess black people do it too…

So African Americans tend to straighten hair and wear weaves to have them perceived to have ‘good’ aka European hair and its ok. Yet a Caucasian wants to have ‘black’ hair and its a bad thing and shouldn’t be done…according to the previous comments.

Something is not right with that.

Not afraid to admit it

yet all the black women leaving negative comments have blonde hair dyes, relaxers, a flat iron &/or straight weave in their hair.. but ok.

This is true…

Some black girls in this thread need to sit down. You want respect, but when someone appreciates your culture and wants to dab into it, you get offended. I find it flattering that she wants to have a fro. Yes, it’s a fro. Just because your hair may be kinkier doesn’t make this any less a fro than yours. This is basically what my hair looks like after a wash and go only it’s not that big. This is exactly what my sister’s hair looks like after some fluffing because her hair is actually straighter than this fro in the video. I get the whole white appropriation argument but one cannot simply assume she’s trying to “claim” or “appropriate” anything. Take it as a compliment. Everyone isn’t always trying to shit on your (our) culture. Some people appreciate it. Kind of like how you appreciate the weave and relaxer. Seriously, take a chill pill. In my very humble opinion, I say she looks great. I was really hoping that when I came here for the comments, my sisters would have come above all that. Guess I was wrong.

Now this is what it’s really about. Thank you.

The racial tension between Whites and Blacks on this thread makes me almost sad to be biracial. While yall are duking it out over fucking HAIR, I’ll be worrying about something relevant and LOVING my fro-ish curly hair that was blessed to me by two colors who will never be at peace. It’s JUST hair and it’s NOT YOURS, so why does it matter?

Ridiculous White People’s Comments

Mind you, the description says, “How to make straight hair into Afro hair.” Afro being African. After many black women declared this as a white woman trying to be black… Speaking of stereotypes, why do racist people always have bad grammar? Hmmm?


need this for Halloween! Lol


Halloween sorted


your doing my hair like this for Halloween


Who would want an Afro


This reminds me of a poodle.


Why would you want to make yourself look like side show bob !!


If I ever need to be a poodle

To a black woman…

That’s some nice relaxed hair you hair there.

Who responded with, “Oh so flat irons aren’t a thing? Again, white people not knowing jack shit about hair. FAIL.”


This is part of Finish the Sentence Friday.

Read more posts on Uncharted and American Indian Mom.


  1. Wait, people argue with you on Facebook and then go back and say the same thing that you were saying to somebody else? That's plain crazy. And mean! Argh. My husband's mom lived in an all-black community and mostly all-black church. Her funeral was the most amazing one I've ever been to. Members of the church cooked the meal for afterward. During the service, they could get up and say something about my MIL. Some sang. Many praised Jesus. It was community and amazing.
  2. That's so weird that people would copy the exact thing that they just dissed! You're right; must be some hidden jealousy!! Thanks so much for linking to my post!

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