Category: Michelle’s Stories

Helicopter Parenting Gone Wrong

Helicopter Parenting Gone Wrong! Watch Michelle's life unfold in this devastating tale of bad helicopter parenting. She just doesn't even overparent right.

Top story of the morning! Despite Michelle’s attempts at helicopter parenting, Annabelle has officially learned how to tie her shoes. The laziness that free range parenting offers is not only an enticing temptation to an old, tired soul like Michelle,…

A Prerequisite to a High School Reunion

I thought that by this time in life, I’d know what I was doing and maybe where I was going. I thought I’d like, I don’t know, be there already. Somewhere. What am I going to say at my high…

How to Be Beautiful: A Reflection of Beauty

How to Be Beautiful A Reflection of Beauty by Michelle Grewe of Crumpets and Bollocks

OMG, when I look in the mirror, I’m a fat cow! Ask anyone in high school, I was a, “fat cow.” The whispers of the insecure dressed in holier-than-thou costumes echoed through the hallways of pencils and ammonia, “OMG, look at what that…

January Monthly

In the name of the attention-whorism my blog implies, I think I’m going to try a monthly wrap up… again. We’ll see if I remember to do this next month, but it’s part of my system to monitor results of…

I learned…

What I learned in 2015. Forgiveness.

In 2015, I learned… I learned I am getting better. During the Mayan Apocalypse (if you remember that), I hit a new level of crazy between motherhood and sleep deprivation, and a lot of crazy things happened to me (haunted…

What if I don’t care about what you care about? Like Celebrity Deaths?

We all have feelings about celebrity deaths and veteran deaths. Sometimes I feel things you don't feel, and sometimes you feel things I don't feel. That's ok. We may not care about each other's things, but we can care about each other.

In the future, I would like people to be just as sensitive about other people’s feelings as they expect them to be about their’s. In the death of Alan Rickman and David Bowie, many people have mourned these celebrity deaths…

Shit Straightening Togetherness

My 2016 Word of the Year is, “Get-my-shit-together.” Ok. That’s like 4 words but if you put the dashes in between them, it makes it a “compound” word. Now that I think about it, does anyone literally get their shit…

Disappointment with a Side of Hope: Dinner for One

Driving down the road in the dark, I look in my side mirror at the car behind me. Keep driving, look again. He’s following pretty close. I wonder if he’s a cop. Keep driving. Look again. That has to be…

Dear Me: You’re Wrong about Me

Dear Me: A letter to myself telling myself to be less critical of myself.

Dear Me, Every time I look at you, I see failure growing abundantly on your waistline, shriveling up on your face, and crapping all over your home. I know you are intelligent and talented, but I keep telling you that it’s…

Look at the Love. Just Focking Look at It!

Look at the love

I know a lot of you don’t like these posts (they rarely get shares or reads), but I feel compelled to write them for the one person who does like them and needs them as much as I needed to…