Category: Bollocks

Light-hearted Stuff

Helicopter Parenting Gone Wrong

Helicopter Parenting Gone Wrong! Watch Michelle's life unfold in this devastating tale of bad helicopter parenting. She just doesn't even overparent right.

Top story of the morning! Despite Michelle’s attempts at helicopter parenting, Annabelle has officially learned how to tie her shoes. The laziness that free range parenting offers is not only an enticing temptation to an old, tired soul like Michelle,…

Codeine Infused Migraine Moment

My migraine. A mean man. Fun times.

Today is July 4th. My migraine, well she’s a bitch, and my kids, well they got hungry for some strange reason around dinner time.  So I did what any mother of 3 with a migraine would do, I made a…

Horror. Terror. Booze. You’re In.

Horror. Terror. Booze. You're In. You'll see. A funny story about my life and a fear I had to face.

One of my biggest fears I ever had to face is a weird one that you probably have faced too. I have faced losing my father to cancer, the military, demons and ghosts, insanity, praise music from a Stepford Community…

If I could go back in time, I’d do it all over again. Literally.

Marty McFly and Doc Brown’s DeLorean are giving me a ride, and we’re traveling to the date of December 15, 2007. They are dropping me off on their way to see Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony’s first performance, something I would love…

How to Be Beautiful: A Reflection of Beauty

How to Be Beautiful A Reflection of Beauty by Michelle Grewe of Crumpets and Bollocks

OMG, when I look in the mirror, I’m a fat cow! Ask anyone in high school, I was a, “fat cow.” The whispers of the insecure dressed in holier-than-thou costumes echoed through the hallways of pencils and ammonia, “OMG, look at what that…

I learned…

What I learned in 2015. Forgiveness.

In 2015, I learned… I learned I am getting better. During the Mayan Apocalypse (if you remember that), I hit a new level of crazy between motherhood and sleep deprivation, and a lot of crazy things happened to me (haunted…

Shit Straightening Togetherness

My 2016 Word of the Year is, “Get-my-shit-together.” Ok. That’s like 4 words but if you put the dashes in between them, it makes it a “compound” word. Now that I think about it, does anyone literally get their shit…

Disappointment with a Side of Hope: Dinner for One

Driving down the road in the dark, I look in my side mirror at the car behind me. Keep driving, look again. He’s following pretty close. I wonder if he’s a cop. Keep driving. Look again. That has to be…

The Crumpets and Bollocks Gift Guide 2015

Crumpets and Bollocks presents its 2015 Holiday Gift Guide.

Why do I have this feeling everyone is sick of gift guides? Yet most of you can’t resist to at least peruse it… I know I can’t. Gift guides are that light moths like to fly into. It will kills…

I Just Realized I’m White! By a Former Culture Vulture

Pretty Fly for a White Guy. An article about Cultural Appropriation.

“I can’t believe it took me so long to realize that…” I can’t believe it took me so long to realize that I’m white. For years, I’d tell men, I’m all chocolate baby. This white stuff is just the candy…